Dear "Secret": I hate money.

Detective Dogwith has been nudging me to uncover this particular Elephant-in-the-Room for awhile, now, and today is the day. This Elephant sits in bank corners, bars, and the family dinner table. It's Money-Hating.

I hate money. There. I said it. If you are a fan of "The Secret", you're likely salivating right now. I look like a prime candidate for your club, don't I? Clearly I must not understand that I am about to generate a whole lotta financial crises for myself just by this one post. After all, if I send out to the Universe the message that I hate money, the Universe will shrug and stop sending it to me. Stay positive, Ameriga, your club would tell me.

Here's positive for you: I positively hate money. I have visions of myself dressed up like Rambo, all sweaty with black stuff in smeared streaks on my face and taught arms - and there's Money, looking much like the Geico commercial, in a stack with googely eyes on top, all tied up in rope and quivering with fear.

I level my bazooka and growl "any last words, Money?"

Now I'm the one salivating. I love that dream. And I'm not alone. In this economy, there's a whole lotta people with fear and loathing of money.

Cash had been King forever, and in the last couple of decades, its throne has been toppled for Credit instead. Now Cash has regained its supremecy like a vengeful god. "How dare you worship Credit over me?!" roareth Lord Money, as it topples banks, devestates the auto and airplane industries, imprisons energy in its towers, and throws homeowners into the dungeons, never to see the light of day again.

Well, this is what you get for not electing me President last November. In my first 100 days, I would have abolished national currency, closed down the treasury, auctioned off Fort Knox, paid down our national debt, and reverted the nation to a barter system. Wouldn't you love to be able to pay back your credit card companies with home-baked goods? or whatever service you happen to be good at?

Sure you would. Because you hate money, too. C'mon, you can admit it. Don't worry - I won't tell the Secret club. I won't even tell the Universe. Go ahead, say it loud - say it proud! "I hate money!" No more shall the Money-Hating Elephant invisibly crowd your family room! Never again shall it take up two barstools or sit between you and your banker! Stick your head out the window and yell "I hate money and I won't take it anymore!" (hmm, wait, that sounds vaguely familiar. *grin* If you're a movie buff, you'll know what I mean.) Okay, let's make this simple. We'll take a poll. Who should be King? Cash, Credit, or Barter?

Healthy Is as the Media Does

Ever see "Jesus Christ: Superstar"? One of the songs asks Jesus why he decided to appear in a time that had no mass communication, suggesting his life would have been spared and more powerful if he had appeared today instead.

Hmm. That makes me picture Jesus as the media mogul that Jonathan Pryce played in the Bond flick, "Tomorrow Never Dies." A rather corrupting role for Jesus. Word of mouth was definitely better.

Mass communication can be just as dangerous as it can be enlightening. Take the Swine Flu, for instance. The media took Mexico's fear about how fast it spread and projected it into countries worldwide - even succeeding in causing behavior change in the U.S. and other "first world" nations.

It's just flu, people. Hand-washing, diet, exercise, vitamins, rest - these are all things that both prevent and help people recover from flu. The young and elderly are more vulnerable, as we know, so they need greater preventive care.

No need to slaughter thousands of pigs. No need to stop buying pork (if that's something you typically buy). No need to stop flying airplanes or close schools or panic in any way. It's just flu.

The media has taken our fear of bioterrorism and pandemics and capitalized on it to sell print, so they can sell more advertising and make money. And they did it successfully. Behavior changed all over the world. People began wearing face masks in public places. Even our Vice President, Joe Biden, said he'd not let his family travel. (I'll bet Obama had some choice words for him after that snafu!)

Overall, we're a pretty healthy country (aside from obesity and a tendancy to murder each other) and we have access to clean water, clean food, clean facilities, and good medical care. We prevent well and we heal well from flu. A pandemic in and of itself could never cripple this country.

But fear can. If the media tells us to be sick and afraid, we will. The Swine flu Elephant-in-a-Room is simply this: we're only as healthy as the media says we are.