Pay attention! You think you are alone? Not a chance. Every room you walk in has at least one elephant. Studies show that for every person in a room as many as two elephants walk in. Think of that next time you go to a cocktail party. Wear wading boots. (Did you know there are more elephants at cocktail parties than football games? Seriously.)My name is Ms. Ameriga Columbus, and I would like to be your next President. There are many reasons why I am the best person for the job, given the current selection of candidates. First, I am a woman of the people. I have been there, done that. Our last President was elected because he was a "regular guy" and someone the average Joe could envision hanging out with over a beer. I bring that ordinary connection a step further - I actually remember my education; am truly a uniter not a divider; I know how much a beer costs and the work that goes into making it appear on the bar; and have lived the kind of typical American life that could only make GW shudder in fear. I've lived fully and not easily, better representing a much wider population than GW or any candidate ever could.
Second, I am the only (unofficial) Candidate who has the courage to speak openly about any "elephant in the room." I went so far as to hire an Elephant Detective - Detective Dogwith A'Bonne - to keep me informed of elephants in every hidden nook and cranny of every room in the nation. (He might be peering into your room right now!)
And we're going to rant, rave, discuss, share, and even brainstorm about them. Every last one. Race, Religion, Politics, Sex, Money - even the not so obvious ones like Water Cooler Gossip, Media Moguls, Hellbender Rights, Going Mental and Loving It, and everything in between.Know of an elephant you want uncovered? Let Detective Dogwith know at Elephant.Detective@gmail.com. He'll expose them, I'll voice them, and you will unabashedly comment frequently and with no holds barred!
Disclaimer: Not everything you read, hear, or see is true, including in this blog. I won't even tell you which is fact or fiction on this site - you have a brain and Internet access - check it out for yourself and feel free to challenge me at will. This magnificent nation was founded on healthy debate - so hit me with your best shot!
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